Gramma U's visit...

Ok, so Gramma U and Aunt Colleen just decided to come make a visit this weekend. I'm pretty sure they're the first of the extended family to meet my new man. (Sorry Kerry and Steph, they beat you guys by one week.) So here's the converstion between me and Gramma...

Gramma U: Well Julie, he seems very nice.

Me: Yep, I picked a nice one this time.

Gramma U: Well as long as he's good in the bed, that's what's important.

Wise advice Gramma, wise advice.

It's been a while...

So I just logged in and realized that it's been quite a while since I posted. Why? you ask. I guess because I just really don't have much to bitch about any more. And I don't want to make all of you jealous when I talk about how great my life is and how happy I am. I read back over all of my blogs from the last couple years and realize what a complete and total train wreck I was. I knew I was a little rough around the edges, but I don't think I realized just how completely fucked up I was. Poor Kerry, you became my roommate at such a crazy time of my life...but you loved me anyways...and Steph...you were the one who told me to start blogging...told me how therapeutic it would be...how right you were...and Jenny...yes, Jenny the proxy friend...you got to live the crazy life vicariously thru me! How lucky were you! But I'm so sorry to disappoint you all. I am now well on my way to becoming a functional, mature (?!?), grown up. (Shut it, Jason, I am.) Scary thought? Maybe. But I kind of like my new, relatively drama-free life. And I can't wait for you all to meet my wonderful man, soulmate, and love of my life. Quit puking Steph. Roll your eyes if you want. I don't care. I'm happy, I'm madly, hopelessly in love, and I don't care who laughs at me. Just do me a favor when you come visit. Tell Jason that I'm really not a train wreck anymore. At least comparatively....

I'm the worst mom ever...

So Haley and her friends were in my kitchen the other day talking about some girl in their class (high school freshmen) who is pregnant. Haley was talking about how terrible that would be to have a kid at 15. Most of her friends agreed but one girl was saying how she couldn't wait to have a baby. So here's my advice to these 15 year old girls. "Kids aren't nearly so rewarding as people tell you they are. It's just a lie we tell ourselves to try to make ourselves feel better since it's illegal to kill them once they're born." Haley's response? "I honestly believe that." I really am the worst mom ever.

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage...

...Go together like a horse and carriage, let me tell you brother, you SHOULDN'T have one without the other...
So I'm married. Again. I said I never would do it, but I did. And I love it. I'm happier than I've been in years. I can't wipe the stupid grin off my face. Sometimes I can't believe its real, that I really did it. But then I see this ring on my finger and all his stuff in my house and the beautiful man sleeping beside me and I know that not only is it real, it's right. I miss him when he's gone for a day at work, and get butterflies when its time for him to come home to me again. I think maybe this is the way marriage is supposed to be? Anyways, it's good. And Jenny, I promise I will never roll my eyes and make puking sounds again when you talk about how much you love your husband and how you miss him when he's gone. The cold-hearted bitch has fallen. I know you're all laughing at me, but I don't even care. Live, Laugh, Love...life is good!

Haiti

This is a link to a blog by one of the ER doctors at IU Hospital (where I have worked for years). He is in Haiti right now. I want to go! http://messagesfromhaiti.wordpress.com/

Text message conversation

Haley: i hate being a girl!!!

Me: Why....would you rather have a penis?

Haley: no. i wish i was an alien.

Me: oh. Well maybe you can just be abducted

Car Wash

So today was nice and sunny, and after all this messy weather we've had lately, I decided to treat my truck to a nice bath. So while I was waiting in the considerably long line for the car wash, I had my window rolled down, smoking a cigarette and enjoying the (comparatively) balmy temperatures. It's an unmanned, automated car wash, so I put my money in, made my selection, and when it was finally my turn, pulled into the wash bay. Can anyone guess what I forgot to do?

2009

Well here we are at the end of another year. It's hard to believe 2009 is almost over. We are at the end of the first decade of the 21st century. We, my friends, are LIVING the future. And while we may not have flying cars and moving sidewalks everywhere like on the Jetsons, we do have it pretty good. This year has been such a whirlwind. Seems like just a few weeks ago I was beginning my shaky recovery from a bad divorce, looking forward to our February cruise, and now Christmas is over and the new year is nearly here. There was a time when I just existed. I couldnt see beyond just making it thru each day in one piece. But I feel that this past year has brought so much healing and hope and....well I guess re-discovering myself. Now instead of just trying to make it through each day in one piece I find myself looking forward to each day with anticipation once again, wondering what new adventure it will bring. As a very wise person once said, "Life is absurd." (oh wait, that was me.) Life is, indeed absurd. But at the same time wonderful, fascinating, and a gift we should treasure. I love watching my children grow and change each year. I even (and I hope I don't curse myself by saying this) love having teenagers! They are quite entertaining little personalities. I love my job. I am so blessed to have a job that I love and that reminds me each day of all that I have to be thankful for. I love my family. I have the most supportive (if dysfunctional) family anyone could ask for. I love my circle of friends (and of course cousins--you guys get to count twice as friends AND family!) And I love the crazy little surprises life throws at you out of the blue....like reconnecting with an old love from nearly two decades ago. (Now I'm feeling old. I DON'T love that!) Yes, all-in-all 2009 has been a very good year. I am eagerly anticipating all the adventure that 2010 will bring. Life is good!

Life

Life is absurd. Yep. That just about sums it up.

FWD:My friend Derek's Halloween costume

Rather disturbing costume don't you think?

AAHHHHHHHH!

Why do I do this? Why do I let people treat me like shit repeatedly? Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean that I don't care and don't get my feelings hurt. Sometimes I feel like I just need to start being an asshole or I'm just gonna keep getting walked on my whole life. But the problem is...I don't WANT to be an asshole. I'm not very GOOD at being an asshole. You'd think being nice would count for something, but I guess it's not good enough. So because I truly don't mind helping people out, I get taken advantage of and am expected to help beyond what I am able. Because I truly do care about your happiness, my happiness means nothing. Because I don't bitch and whine and pout when things aren't exactly as I'd like them to be, then I guess how I'd like things to be must not really matter. Sometimes I wish I were capable of saying to hell with it all and becoming a self-centered manipulative bitch. It seems to work so well for other people. But since I can't be what I'm not, I guess I'm stuck being the doormat. That's who I am. Just tattoo WELCOME across my forehead.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is a bad idea?

Hip Granny

She might be getting older but she hasn't lost her sense of style...

Amazing!

Wow! I just went to Wendy's and ordered a chicken sandwich without mayo and they actually listened!...but they were out of diet coke...

Pet Peeves...

1. People who turn left from the right hand lane. Don't you people realize that I am the world's most distracted driver? You're putting your life and mine in danger.

2. Automated customer service answering that says first thing, "For English, press 1." Seriously? I live in America. How about we ASSUME I want English and press 1 for some other language. I bet in China they don't say "For Chinese, press 1."

3. Psychotic ex-husbands with equally psychotic girlfriends. No explanation needed.

4. Instructions for voicemail. Verizon's voicemail says "At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press 5." Really, it is 2009. Is there a single soul left in this universe that needs to be walked through how to leave a message on voicemail?

5. The assumption that everyone who wants a chicken sandwich from a fast food restaurant likes mayo. I don't care which restaurant it is or how many times I say no mayo, I always get mayo on my sandwich. I think I'm just gonna quit saying no mayo and start asking for extra napkins to wipe it off...

I've been in a bitchy mood all day so I could really go on and on, but those are just a few off the top of my head. Anyone else got anything to add?

Do you wanna get ROCKED?!?

Two words....DEF LEPPARD!!!

Conversing with the confused....

Conversation I just had with my patient:
PT: ...and she was just in here and I was telling her that she could get 15% off her eye exam if she went to that place over there, but she left before I could tell her the directions...do you think you could find her for me?
ME: Who do you want me to find?
PT: That girl I was just talking to a minute ago...
ME: There was no one in here...
PT: Well yes there was, I asked her to bring me my tie, she said she would.
ME: What do you need your tie for?
PT: Well I need to wear a tie to get the eye exam...
ME: Sir, you're in the hospital right now, remember?
PT: (Looking around the room blankly) Oh, well, could you call her for me...oh wait, I forgot her phone number...
ME: You don't worry about it...I'll take care of it for you.
PT: Thank you so much for all your help.
Me: You're welcome, no problem.
PT: This is such a nice restaurant...I'll be sure to come back here.

Sigh...well, at least he's a happy customer...

My new ride...

Eek! Josie...wardrobe malfunction!

Jackson's new haircut

He's trying to look mean...